THE FINE ART OF LISTENING
Job 20-21

Bildad, in his second speech, was merciless in his denunciation of Job, saying in Chapter 18 that all
of Job's suffering and sorrow was a result of his wickedness and sin.   Bildad condemned Job for
rejecting the counsel of his three friends.   Job went through his deepest valley as he cried out in
his own defense in confusion and agony.   Job 19:6.   In the same chapter Job is seen on his highest
mountain of faith as he responded with a great Old Testament confession of faith concerning life
after death.   Job 19:25,26.   After Bildad's denunciation and Job's defense follows Zophar again.

  1. Zophar's Reprimand (Chapter 20)

    1. Zophar's speech was not from a cool, calm, collected mind but from a mind
      disturbed, angry and offended because of Job's firm, unwavering declarations of faith.
      Job 20:23.
    2. Zophar ??? that from the beginning of human history the experience of the wicked is
      clear.   Job 20:4.   Zophar then makes some assertions.
      1. The triumph of the wicked is short and the joy of the hypocrite is momentary.
        Job 20:5.
      2. Although young, the wicked will die, no matter how luxuriously he has lived.
        Job 20:11.
      3. Riches gained by the wicked will not be retained and will be used even to cause
        his death.   Job 20:12-15.   (People who break God's law are often more
        susceptible to an early death than those who restrain from sins.)
        1. Those who are guilty of sexual immorality are exposed to heinous diseases.
        2. Those who abuse alcohol and drugs are in danger of liver related diseases.
        3. Those who rob and steal often die prematurely from violence related to
          their sins.   (However, many wicked people live to a ripe old age, while
          some of God's very best people die at a tragically early age.)
      4. Every imaginable calamity will come upon the wicked.   Job 20:23.   Zophar was
        also making reference to the many adversities Job suffered in rapid succession.
        (Eccl. 8:11 contradicts Zophar's assertion.)
      5. Zophar sums up his affirmations in Job 20:29.

  2. Job's Rebuttal (Chapter 21)

    1. It is impossible to be a good counseller without being a good listener.   Job's
      comforters would not shut up long enough to listen.   Job 21:1-5.   Listening is a fine
      art and there are some principles that should be remembered.
      1. Give the hurting person time to speak and do not rush them.   You earn the right
        to speak by listening.
        1. We all know someone who talks too much but do we know anyone who
          listens too much?
        2. How can a wise person reveal their wisdom?   Prov. 10:19.
      2. When a hurting person is speaking, no matter how wrong they may be, do not
        argue or correct them.

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        1. Give affirmation that you are hearing what they are saying - not that you are
          in agreement.
        2. Do not act surprised at what they may say, no matter how harsh or bitter
          they may be.
        3. Be very careful about responding hastily to what people are saying.   Prov.
          29:20.
      1. A hurting person needs to vent their hurt, frustration and perhaps their anger.
        To do that they need someone who will listen without criticism or correction.
        Our ability to listen compassionately to a hurting friend will reveal as much as
        anything what kind of friend we are.   No one feels more deserted or lonely than
        a person experiencing deep suffering or severe adversity.   It may not be voiced,
        but it is not unusual to feel that even God has deserted them.   Remember a true
        friend is "one who comes in when the world has gone out."   Perhaps we may
        need to carefully examine and scrutinize ourselves to see if we are true friends or
        just "fair weather friends!"
      2. It is far more important for hurting people to speak than to hear any advice you
        might give them.   They need to verbalize their thoughts, especially their
        frustrations and bitterness.   When people verbalize their thoughts they are better
        able to analyze and evaluate them.   If what they say sounds foolish to you, it
        probably will to them also, after they think about what they have said.   Every
        speaker has two audiences, the person before him and himself.   As a person
        listens to himself, wrong thoughts or feelings often take care of themselves.
      3. The frustrations of life need a vent or pop-off valve at times.   Like an inflated
        balloon that is about to burst, the release of emotional pressures is absolutely
        necessary.   Allowing a person to speak is the most readily available safety valve.
        This kind of listening requires maturity, permissiveness and great patience.
      4. If you do not understand what the person is saying, feel free to ask questions.
        Asking questions lets the person know you really want to hear about what they
        are saying.
        1. Usually most of us are so anxious to relate our experiences or express our
          genius that we don't have the patience to listen to others.
        2. When counseling hurting people there is no better time to obey the
          command found in James 1:19.
      5. Listening is a difficult art because it requires tremendous concentration.   Most
        people can speak at the rate of about 120 words a minute but can think three or
        four times that fast.   This means that listening to someone speak leaves much
        thinking time on our hands.   It will take special effort to concentrate carefully on
        listening.
      6. Do not be afraid of silence.   It is very difficult to keep silent when no one is
        talking.   Ten or fifteen seconds of total silence may seem like an eternity.
        Breaking into periods of silence may rob a hurting person of what they need
        most.   They may be building up courage to share something very important.   Or,
        they may be trying to collect their thoughts so they can express them clearly.
      7. If as you listen, the hurting person breaks down and weeps, give him or her a
        reassuring touch of some kind.   The skin is the largest organ of the body and
        contains millions of sensory cells and nerves.   Be careful to think this out, plan
        and make sure your touch is appropriate and will not be misunderstood.   This is

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        not a sexual advance but a touch that conveys a message of love and
        compassion.
        1. Christ used this technique in His ministry.
        2. At least six times we find Him touching needy people.   Matt. 8:3; Mark
          5:41; Matt. 9:29; Mark 8:22,23; 10:13.
      1. As you listen, look the speaker in the eye.   Listening begins not with the ears but
        with the eyes.   The eyes may tell you something the mouth does not.   Prov.
        20:12.
    1. Job might have been trying to awaken some compassion and sympathy in his friends
      when he asked them to listen carefully and put their hands over their mouths.   Job
      21:2-5.
    2. Job answered Zophar's assertion that the wicked die young after much suffering.   Job
      21:7-9.
    3. Job makes it clear that God's judgment is not always meted out in this life.   Job
      21:10-16.
    4. Job says that the wicked may live long, healthy lives and die in prosperity.   Job
      21:17,23,24.
    5. Job knew that his friends were going to ask where are the wicked people who
      prosper and live long lives?   Job 21:27-29,31.   Sometimes the wicked are so rich and
      powerful that no one would dare denounce them to their faces.
    6. Job's friends could not comfort him since they knew little about the fine art of
      listening.   Job 21:34.

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